Not So Picture Perfect

This is our family picture for our Christmas card this year.  We look happy, smiley, together, and in my opinion, the cutest little family I have ever seen. I love this picture!  Don't get me wrong, I am blessed with the two best guys out there!  But, believe me, we are in no way as perfect as this picture seems to suggest.  Last night reminds me of the truth that we never know what lies behind the pictures we see on blogs and social media.  People aren't as picture perfect as they seem so there's no use feeling like you don't measure up!

I was thinking about this as my husband and I tried to address and stuff the almost 30 Christmas cards of this picture to our friends and family (and this was the shortened list because I knew this would be no easy task).  My husband, always the letter writer in the family, was meanwhile hand-writing short notes to each of his aunts and uncles.  It sounds like a magical night during the Christmas season.  Mommy, Daddy, baby boy and holiday traditions (and don't forget the beautiful picture on the cards!).

In actuality, the scene was anything but picture perfect.

My son, in between pulling my hair and attempting to prevent me completely from writing, scattered an entire bag of Christmas candy across the living room and threw each and every item (envelopes, cards, paper, stamps, return address labels, my list) from the coffee table to the floor (multiple times).  Every few seconds my husband or I seemed to throw out a half-hearted "don't eat that!" "that's not yours, Liam; put it back" "there's no reason to whine" "play with one of your toys" or "let Mommy write, PLEASE."

We barely managed to address and label 3/4 of them (which became my goal for the night part-way through because one can only handle so much crying!).  There was no drool or serious folds in any of them (who knew that could feel like such an accomplishment?). Liam had multiple tantrums/crying fits and there was snot running down his face by the end of it.

I really wish I had a picture of our living room and his face.  It was in stark contrast to the pictures we sent out today, but, you know what?  I wish I had a picture not only because it would be fun to share it with you, but also because that is a memory I know I will cherish (and laugh about) someday with my husband.  "Remember that time when Liam was one and we tried to get our Christmas cards together just a bit too close to his bedtime?"

That memory isn't quite as pretty as the card we sent out, but isn't real life better anyway?

This hits home for me because I often find myself comparing myself to other moms.  Craftier moms, ones that make pancakes in the shape of snowmen and a sandwich that looks like Rudolf.  But, you know what?  There's more to every story than what we see on blogs, Facebook, and Pinterest.  We don't know what's behind all those pictures.

I want to challenge us mothers to be real with each other. That's how we can best help each other through this crazy beautiful mess called motherhood.

Parenting is messy, stinky, slobbery, urine-soaked, snot-covered, and in general, just not picture perfect.  But it is beautiful, fulfilling, heart-warming, love-filled, kiss-covered, and snuggly.  Now, tell me, what could be better than reality???

You're Doing Better Than You Think, Mama

I'm not patient enough.  I don't take enough time away from things that need to be done to play with my son.  I get annoyed by his whining when I'm tired.  I don't read him enough books.  I choose sleep over spending time with him sometimes.  I have to ignore him and do school work.  I've even told him to "shut up" once: I was on night shift and slept less than 4 hours a night and would get up with him the next morning.  I said it because he would NOT stop whining and screaming and I had no energy to be patient.  I sent him to daycare after giving him Tylenol when I wasn't sure he was completely over his cold because I couldn't miss another day at the hospital.  I've gone back to sleep after muting my son's monitor when he was crying because I just could not will my body out of bed.

I struggle with these guilty thoughts and others.  I feel like a failure as a Mom some days, sometimes many days.  I look on Facebook and other blogs and see other mothers who make homemade Halloween costumes, decorate their houses for each season, have spotless homes, home school, are constantly crafting, and have beautiful smiling children clinging to them and I don't feel like I measure up.

But then there are videos like this.  I realize other Moms often struggle with feelings of inadequacy too.  That it's natural to not feel like you measure up, because this job we are entrusted with is BIG.  It's a precious life that we are raising.  It's ok to feel like this because we love our children so much that we want perfection for them and we are far from perfection.  We are human and can only give so much. 

But perfection is NOT what our children need.  This video reminded me of that.  They need us.  Our best.  Our love.  Our example of how an imperfect person can be used to do wonderful things. They see our efforts.  The struggles.  The love. 

 

This video made me cry.  Hard.

My son can't talk yet like the kids in the video but I hear him.  He's telling me I must be doing something right.  He knows how much I love him.  He remembers all the long nights that I've spent rocking him and nursing him.  How that usually I'm the first to come to him when he needs someone.  How I can't put him down after he falls asleep in my arms because he is just too beautiful and I love holding him so much that my own sleep is not so important as a few more minutes snuggling with my sleeping angel.  How I'll put his needs above mine each and every day.  How holding him and kissing him is one of my favorite things in the world.  How I'll do silly things to make him giggle...over and over again.  How I crawl around on the floor playing with him when I get home after work.  He sees how he is my world and that I would do anything for him.

My son is a Momma's boy.  Just now, his daddy was saying he'd show me a cool trick.  As Daddy held him and spun around with my son in his arms, my son's gaze stayed fixed on me.  He would turn his head toward me no matter which way his daddy turned him.  He squeals when he sees me.  He cries when someone else takes him from my arms.  He gives me big wet kisses and sweet hugs when I come home and randomly throughout the day even when I've been home with him all day.  His first word was "Mama."  I can dry his tears by just picking him up and cuddling him.  And sometimes, no one else but Mommy will do.

 

He is well taken care of and so so loved.  So what if I'm not perfect?!  I'm his Mommy.  And I'll keep trying to be the best Mommy I can be. And that is the best gift I could ever give him.

 

So how about some confidence Mamas?  You're doing better than you think!  Grab a Kleenex and watch this video.  It's a great reminder.